Footnotes and fancy-free

 The Excellent Emperor   

Had A A Milne been born much later, he could have used Excel in his poetry to make the calculations much easier.  Post the blue text into Excel and find the functions to achieve the red text.  What fun!

The Emperor’s Rhyme by A.A. Milne

The King of Peru
Who was Emperor too
had a sort of rhyme
which was useful to know
if he felt very shy
when a stranger came by
or they asked him the time
when his watch didn’t go.
Or supposing he fell,
by mistake, down a well
or tumbled when skating
and sat on his hat.
Or perhaps wasn’t told
Till his porridge was cold
That his breakfast was waiting
Or something like that.

So whenever the Emperor
got into a temper or
felt himself sulky or sad,
he would murmur and murmur
until he felt firmer
this curious rhyme that he had.

“Eight eights are sixty-four      64                The red text was aligned correctly.  See No. 1 here.
Multiply by seven.                    x 7
When it’s done,                   = 448
carry one  we take that as +    449                           
and take away eleven.     -    438                See the result
Nine nines are eighty one       81
Multiply by three                     243                     
If it’s more
carry four                                247
And then it’s time for tea.”                           

So whenever the Queen
took his armour to clean
and didn’t remember
to use any starch.
Or his birthday, in May,
was a Horrible day,
being wet as November
and windy as March.
Or when sitting in state
with the wise and the great
he happened to hiccup
when signing his name.
Or The Queen gave a cough
when his crown tumbled off
as he bent down to pick up
a pen for the same.

So whenever the Emperor
got into a temper or
felt himself awkward or shy,
he would whisper and whisper
until he felt crisper
this odd little rhyme to the sky.

“Eight eights are eighty one    This presents Excel with a problem!
Multiply by seven.                      You know what to do from this point..                   
If it’s more
carry four
and take away eleven.
Nine nines are sixty-four
Multiply by three
When it’s done
carry one
and then it’s time for tea.”         You deserve it!


See where the illustration for the header graphic/poem came from and read the A A Milne page here.

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